I just got back from Pampanga few hour ago.

It’s shitty that I had always thought of having this Cognitive Decline when I can actually remember plentiful vivid memories.

I went really nostalgic when I saw what used to be our home at Lemens, Mabalacat, Pampanga, that I even ended up being teased by my sister Joanna when I told her about that.

It’s more like an ancestral house though it doesn’t really seem like one because it has quite modern -ISH interior.

The nipa hut in the garden, what used to be my chill out spot, aside from the place alone being considerably relaxing already, was no longer there.

I saw the phone nook, also one of my favorite spots, haha, I used to spend hours and wee hours there, you would’ve told me to go get a hobby.

The tunnel-like path towards the garage room and the very traditional yet still functioning water pump just beside it.

The white cabinet, our cubbyhole. Nuf said.

The Beautiful beautiful Orchids, Bermuda grass have already been covered by cobble stones, and some other plants were already removed/replaced.

The Samurais and The small arms I’m not sure if Blunderbusses or Carbines.

And Everything that’s remained there, all precious, they’ve been there since forever along with the memories and stories I’ve had in that place growing up.

***I still can’t quite figure how to put videos and pictures in a tumblr text post, I would if I could. Not much of a tech savvy here.

Entirely, my Holy Week’s been fruitful, I got to internalize more than usual. I witnessed an actual ‘penitensya’. I was able to spend time with my relatives and my cute little cousins. At some point I realized that I should be a more proud ate not only because of my sibs but also because all my baby cousins(that’s what I opt to call them because I’m the eldest among my maternal cousins) are really smart. I have a sightless toddler cousin, he’s really adorable, he has his other ways of coping up with his condition. I love how I’m looking like a family oriented person here, I really am anyway. :)

This is the best feeling I’ve had since April begun. Maybe acceptance is what I really needed and I think I’m close to having it, just when that happens I hope that’ll go as well for the upcoming days. I’ve always wanted too much but as I turn a year older just hours away, so is my maturity keeping with it, I realized that it wouldn’t hurt if I also consider circumstances, much more when it involves people I love.

At some point in our life we get to encounter shackles of love, as for me, when I was just about to give up, my Christian faith that I’ve just recovered guided me. Some may find this quite hackneyed but there’s no way I’d be ashamed of this. ‘Thank God’ is what my mind kept on reiterating.

So, this morning, i went to the library to borrow Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, I even risked my Dynamics class for it, when class hour was nearing i just ended up asking for any book authored by my favorite, Paulo Coelho. I thought i was going to get reprimanded AGAIN by my professor but good God she was absent!

So far, i'm at page 45 and i'm into it. I've already read quite plenty of lines that i got to relate with. Here are some that i find worth sharing:

-"... I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he's much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person."

-"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."- Robert Frost

Another reason why it caught my attention is because of my world lit professor, Ms. Chaves whom early this afternoon was discussing about why people want to be like the others. Which, in no doubt, i agree, why do people settle for mediocrity when in fact they've all the capability to do things extraordinarily.

-"If you want something , you need to look the other person in the eye."

-"Any action committed in anger is an action doomed to failure."

-"Where there is life, there is hope."

As I've said, i'm still on the verge of reading it, but i'll keep you, guys, posted.

P.S.: Paulo Coelho never fails to inspire me.

DAY 5: My dreams

Back when I was 5, I've already seen myself becoming an engineer. But for someone who has an inexperienced mind set, i thought only guys have the potentials of being one, so, i switched to wanting to become a nun instead. Apparently, I shifted back and is now pursuing my first choice.

One contributor to my motivations is the book of Paulo Coelho "By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept", it's actually one of my favorite novels of all time. So, going back, I learned from the book that one dream is not an obstacle to materializing another, though in the seminarian's case, it is love that is not an obstacle to materializing one's dream. But indeed, we're talking of the same thing on the latter of both phrases-- Serving God.

That is why now, it's not only becoming a chemical engineer i want, but to become a Good Chemical Engineer. Good is a simple word but it makes a huge difference.

DAY 4: My siblings (or closest relative)

I'm the eldest among my siblings. Next to me is Joanna, 18, Paula, 13, then, Paolo, 8.

With those age gaps, it's no surprise that we're are all close to each other, considering my i-don't-act-my-age guise. I'm proud that we've all been brought up to share what we have to each other and look out for one another, no crab mentality, no disrespect, no envy, and the like. :)

DAY 3: My Parents

"Your parents may not be the most perfect one. But they are the most perfect gift God ever given you."-from Twitter

December 9th 2010, yes just yesterday, they celebrated their Anniversary. And here's a worth sharing story for the 3rd day of challenge.

"there's special providence in the fall of a sparrow,"-Shakespeare

That quote from Shakespeare speaks out what actually happened that day. Things weren't going so well but for some inexplicable reason came a tidal shift of the situation. Blessing in disguise it is. So, to elucidate your confounded minds the story went like this:

My friend, Nicole, and I were supposed to go shopping that day. The reason why for weeks I've been in my best penny-pinching self. But because of our Advanced(ChE) Math quiz the following day(today) we just decided to postpone it. After my classes, instead of going straight home or eating somewhere near UST, what utmost we should likely be doing, i went to my Thursdays soul searching commitment, The Doulos for Christ's wildsons. When I got home, i saw my sad mum, then i realized she knew i had forgotten. Without hesitation, it was already 9 or 10pm, I went out to buy them cake and ice cream. All my savings were spent but i felt fulfilled.

I know this isn't about my parents entirely but worthy enough to be published.

Sometimes, things happen because it's fated to make another person happy. And whichever way you look at it, the fulfillment you get right after is even greater than any forms of joy.

DAY 2: My Crush

Can't reveal his name, let's just call him abcdeftoot. I'm actually good friends with him. I purposely blurred his picture so, if he ever got to see this he won't notice that it's him so as to avoid awkward instances when we're together, we usually are. yknow. One thing i liked about him is his smile. But i got to tell you, this guy's really coy and vain! hah! :D